My heart, Your home

Well it's almost been a month since my last post. Nothing big has really happened within the last month until now! I guess that is why I'm posting.. (haha)

I am so grateful that my God still is the same God He has been towards me ever since I took my walk with Him seriously.

He has always been the God that upholds me..
He has always been the God that protects me..
He has always been the God that has carried me..
He has always been the God that restores me..
He has always been the God that corrects me..
He has always been the God that has guided me..
He has always been the God that has picked me up..
He has always been the God that has showed me glimpses of His purpose for my life..
He has always been the God that has been so gracious when I wasn't deserving..
He has always been the God in my life that has worked mysteriously..

*I guess I am in a grateful mood today*

A LIST OF WHAT GOD HAS DONE FOR ME IN THE LAST 2 WEEKS:

- I have passed all my Units for the first semester of Uni (even though I didn't study enough)
- He has provided me with TWO jobs and now a stable job as an AIN at Liverpool Hospital
- He has given me more opportunities to work at the Childcare Centre still
- He has healed me from my sickness
- He has given me the courage to sing solo in a big crowd
- He has protected me when I made an unconscious decision to get into a car with a stranger
- He has allowed me to create closer bonds with the girls in the YD Leadership Team

That's just a few of the things I am grateful for. There's this song that ministered to me 2 weeks ago and it's still the song I listen to constantly and is currently my favorite.

It is called: My heart, Your home- by Watermark

(Listen to it if you get the chance I'm sure it will minister to you as it did to me)

CHORUS:
Come and make my heart Your home Come and be everything I am and all I know Search me through and through ‘Till my heart becomes a home for You

CHORUS

A home for You, Lord A home for You, Lord Let everything I do open up A door for You to come through And that my heart would be a place Where You want to be…

CHORUS

You are my portion, filling up everything You are the fortune, that’s causing my heart to sing That it’s amazing… That You could make Yourself at home with me


Bible Study tonight!! I should get ready! First night without our youth pastor and the rest of the young adults.... A bit scary because they aren't there, but then I'm kinda excited because I know that God will do some stretching of us highschool leaders tonight in how we lead and how to be responsible. Having a girls sleepover at Church afterwards too! I'm hoping to be able to learn more about the girls and help them in whatever way that I can...

Though I walk to the valley...

Today I am a 21 and 3 day old "adult?"... I've had this cough and cold for 3 weeks now, and I feel physically weak. I don't usually get sick for this long - max is 2-3 days. Yesterday I woke up and I was trying to look for ways of re-sitting the exam I was to have, as I felt like I couldn't bring myself to sit for it. So I looked online at my Uni Website but then it looked complicated and I didn't have a medical certificate to prove I've been sick. So that cancels that option! So I ended up going to Uni with watery eyes, a blocked nose, a cough and pain to my upper left shoulder. I wasn't able to study properly for this exam either because I just couldn't concentrate properly with these symptoms. So I called my friend and asked if I could feed off his brain before the exam. So I ended up sitting for the exam, I think it was ok? I missed out on two questions because I didn't know them. But hopefully I get that 28% that I need to pass this unit.

ENOUGH ABOUT THAT...

What's happening with me spiritually? OKAY! So I haven't been hearing from God since Sunday after Prayer Mountain. What happened at Prayer Mountain was great, God moved and clearly broke through a lot of things.

The weight of Gods love and His presence brought me to tears...

So I was speaking to a friend on Monday night and he was asking me "how I was" and I told him I was good, that everything’s been great, I feel like I'm having a mountain experience. Then he reminded me saying "do you know what happens after the mountain experience... ?" I finished it off saying "find yourself in the valley".

So it was Tuesday, which was yesterday that I truly felt as if my time on the mountain was over for this season and I definitely didn't want it to be.

A piece of my journal from last night:
MAN! This better not be a valley moment coming up... I've been on top of everything the past couple of months. Please God keep me on the mountain for a little while longer. Please! I'm not ready to go and enter another valley yet. What is it that You want to bring me through this time? What is it that You want me to learn now? What am I going to lose this time? What am I going to gain out of this? I'm physically weak at the moment but my spiritual well-being is still pretty good. Please don't send me to the valley just yet. Not until you've given me back my physical strength to tackle this valley up ahead. I know there's no escaping this valley moment so would You armor me and protect me for what is to come. Please give me strength to be there for myself as well as my family, my friends, my bible study group and the rest of the leadership team.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me”-Psalm 23:4

There's a whole lot of different things happening in my life right now, things I am aware of and things I am not aware of. Lord give me clarity to what I see and even more clarity and discernment for the unknown. Don't lead me to this valley blinded. Don't lead me to this valley alone. The last valley I entered it alone and it caused me much pain and it took me a long time to find a way out of it. But above everything let Your will be done.

I kind of feel lonely at the moment. Like I don't have a friend to stand by me, stick up for me, care for me and watch out for me. Please send me a friend. Someone to watch my back as I enter this valley, someone to help guide me, someone to encourage me to keep on going, someone that would help fight alongside me, someone who won't leave me stranded, someone who'll lend a hand when I fall down, someone who'll pray for me and someone who'll blow the horn when danger is approaching. Just please give me someone that is even more than the little I am able to do for others. I need that... I trust You.

“One sees great things from the valley; only small things from the peak.”
G.K Chesterton

When i think about it, the above quote has truth to it. When I look at the things I have gone through in the valley He has not only shown me who I can be, but He has made me that of what He has shown. At the peak of the mountain He also does great things but it was a result of the valley experience. So now I am not so much in fear of going through the valley again as I know that He will show me greater things and do greater things in my life!

“I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made straight and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together.” Martin Luther King Jnr

I guess this blog also goes out to a special and dear friend of mine, who I know is going through a valley moment of their own. May the glory of the Lord be revealed in your life and may He strengthen your heart as you wait upon Him.

He speaks to me..

It's amazing how someone that is so big, so powerful, all-knowing and I believe is the most famous in the world could have the time to listen to such an ordinary person like myself and be responsible for making me feel 100 times better than I was before I chose to call on Him.

Today I woke up to a reminder on my phone that it was my "full-day fast". For those people who read my blog (which will be very few, because I haven't told much people about it). The leadership team of my youth group YD have been doing a 40 day fast. Today is the 22nd day! I chose to have mine on the 22nd day because it's my birthday number (June 22).

It took me awhile to get started into prayer this morning, so I just made sure the house was clean and my room was tidy. Whilst cleaning I received a text message from Ps. Ernie (a pastor I met when I was doing Missions in the Philippines in December of 07).

The text message read:

"new day, new blessings, don't let yesterdays failures ruin the beauty of today because each day has its own promise of love, forgiveness, joy and success..."

(The text message was incomplete though...the whole message didn't get through to me..)

Nevertheless, I appreciated two things... (1) That the message brought a sense of comfort to me and (2) That Ps. Ernie actually remembered me.

I love how God encourages me through people... I love that!

So I went to my room and laid down in front of me 5 things: my bible, my diary, my notebook, my phone and a pen. I didn't feel ready to pray yet, so I decided to read the last chapters of 2 Chronicles in our church Bible Reading Plan... After that I began to just worship God with song in my room the first song that came to my heart was "A Pure Heart"

A pure heart, that's what I long for.

A heart that follows hard after Thee

A pure heart, that's what I long for.

A heart that follows hard after Thee.

A heart that hides Your Word

So that sin will not come in.

A heart that's undivided

But one You rule and reign

A heart that beats compassion

That pleases You, my Lord.

A sweet aroma of worship

That rises to Your throne.

And that's really what I want to do, have a heart that follows hard after Thee, a heart that is ruled and reigned by Him. After I sang this song in my room about 4 times over I got a text message on my phone, so I checked it and it was the other half of the previous text I got from ps Ernie...

It read: "Have a blessed day with Jesus..."

At that moment my heart just lit up with CHARA (Joy). Yesterday afternoon when I got home from Church and I was faced with a situation that would have been unbearable had it gotten any worse than it had already, my heart felt so heavy, I felt so helpless and I didn't know what to do but cry out to God for help in my room whilst my friends were downstairs eating and watching tv. But today... I just felt God quiet my heart and my thoughts and His peace just covered me.

I love how God gives me peace in my restlessness... I love that!

So I continued to pray lifting up whatever God placed in my heart to pray for.

I love the way God reveals His heart through various things when I spend time with Him. Each song that came to my heart as I spent time with Him He would pinpoint a person that either needed the encouragement found in the song lyrics or to basically pray for for a circumstance for that person and declare the promises of God in their life. God is amazing..

I thought I was missing out, when my friends tell me they get visions or dreams from God that show them this and that, and it happens. But I wasn't missing out! God speaks to me in a different way. I just didn't acknowledge that my God has been speaking to me through my worship times with Him, the time I set aside for Him- that's when He speaks to me and that's when He shows me things that He can do through me and for others. So now that I know how He chooses to speak to me, that's what I'm going to do so I can hear Him.

God speaks to me when I'm spending time basking in His presence... and I love it!

I can't believe that God can use me and choose to speak through an ordinary and incomplete person like me. He continues to exceed my expectations and He continues to be patient, gracious and merciful to a person like me who falls short many of the times.

Who am I?

Casting Crowns - Who Am I Lyrics
Who am I? That the Lord of all the earth, Would care to know my name, Would care to feel my hurt. Who am I? That the bright and morning star, Would choose to light the way, For my ever wondering heart. Not because of who I am. But because of what you've done. Not because of what I've done. But because of who you are. Chorus: I am a flower quickly fading, Here today and gone tomorrow. A wave tossed in the ocean, A vapor in the wind. Still you hear me when I'm calling, Lord you catch me when I'm falling, And you told me who I am. I am yours. I am yours. Who am I? That the eyes that see my sin Would look on me with love And watch me rise again Who am I? That the voice that calm the sea, Would call out through the rain, And calm the storm in me. Not because of who I am. But because what of youve done. Not because of what I've done. But because of who you are. Chorus: I am a flower quickly fading, Here today and gone tomorrow. A wave tossed in the ocean, A vapor in the wind. Still you hear me when I'm calling, Lord you catch me when I'm falling, And you told me who I am. I am yours. Not because of who I am. But because of what you've done. Not because of what I've done. But because of who you are. Chorus: I am a flower quickly fading, Here today and gone tomorrow. A wave tossed in the ocean, A vapor in the wind. Still you hear me when I'm calling, Lord you catch me when I'm falling, You told me who I am. I am yours. I am yours. Whom shall I fear? Whom shall I fear? 'Cuz I am yours. I am yours.

A Stitch in Time..

Well, today is Wednesday so it must have been two days ago when I decided I wanted to pick up a new hobby.. "knitting" Well don't think it will be much of a hobby.. I went to Lincraft and bought myself a white ball of fluff - otherwise known as a white ball of yarn. Didn't buy any knitting needles as I knew mum had some at home.

So when I got home, went straight to my trusty google homepage and researched on "how to knit". I managed to learn how to "cast on" but that was pretty much it.. I was stumped! Couldn't work out how to get to the next row... It was only yesterday when my sister decided to help me out! So she taught me the "tricks of purling" which I couldn't grasp straight away, but when I did I was on a roll! But made some mistakes along the way and couldn't seem to stop knitting till 1.30am this morning...

Showed my sister how much I did when I got home from Uni.. and she shook her head in disappointment and told me to redo it because it had holes... *shrugs*... with much contemplation of whether or not I should undo the work I had stayed up till 1.30 in the morning to do or not.. I decided if I were to wear this scarf it might as well look decent.. so I redid.. hehe..

and I'm glad I did! It's looking much better now...

Anyways I'm waiting for my sister to get off the other computer so I can hand in my lesson plan and do my assignment....

Oh...! And I also bought a new item from SMIGGLE! (My fav stationary shop) =)

SLEEPY

Sleepy.... my friend showed me her blog.. not sure why I made one.. don't think I'm gonna use it much..

Uni tomorrow...

sleep time